


If We Lose Ourselves: Part III

by Likesummerrain (AverageBunny)



Series: If We Lose Ourselves [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fake Marriage, Falling In Love, Undercover Missions, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 06:36:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AverageBunny/pseuds/Likesummerrain
Summary: A series of short fics where Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luminara Unduli go on an undercover mission as a recently married couple.You know what happens next.





	1. Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Part 3 of 4!

Her dress was all black, even the sequins, yet under the string lights around the balcony, they shone brighter than the stars themselves. 

She leaned against the railing, her glass set aside, her head turned slightly upward, looking out over the city in front of them. 

Obi-Wan sighed as he stepped out into the warm night air, loosening his tie. He set his own drink down, looking at it distastefully. 

“I used to think all cities were as bright as Coruscant,” she said as he walked up next to her. “I didn’t think it was possible for one to look this calm.” 

“This town is an exception,” he said. He slipped his hands inside his pockets, dropping his head back, breathing in deeply. “This entire planet is an exception, when you think about it.” She chuckled, 

“Truer words have never been spoken.” Luminara looked up at him, smiling. 

“Ready to go home, dear?” she asked, straightening up. Obi-Wan smiled, holding out his arm to her, 

“Since the moment we arrived,” he said quietly. Luminara laughed and linked her arm through his, Obi-Wan leading her out of the building. They said quick goodbyes to the other guests, never stopping to talk. The moment they walked out the front doors the two of them stopped in the middle of the empty road.

“Thank the force we’re out,” Luminara breathed, throwing her head back. 

“I thought I was going to suffocate,” he said.  They looked at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter, 

“You looked like you were going to kill yourself with a fork,” she said, taking his hand in hers. 

“Yes well that certainly would have been preferable to what Tam was talking about,” he said. 

“And what was he talking about?” she asked. Obi-Wan shrugged, 

“I tuned it out after he said ‘righteous’ for the third time.” Luminara laughed and Obi-Wan pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head, arm around her shoulders, their fingers still laced together. “I also couldn’t focus on anything except you,” he whispered. She smirked, 

“I know,” she said softly, kissing him. There, in the middle of the street, the stars their only light, Obi-Wan kissed her gently, but without inhibition, his hands tangling in her hair, her arms wrapped around his neck. 


	2. Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW ahead

She’s still hesitant to kiss him, as though someone might catch them at any moment. He senses that too, but nods and closes the space between them. 

She turned her head, pushing his hands aside and pulling his shirt off. Obi-Wan’s mouth moved to her neck, kissing and biting his way down, pulling her dress off. She stepped out of it, kicking it to the side just as he threw his shirt to the side, pulling his trousers down. Obi-Wan ran his hands up and down her back, his hands passing over old scars and battle wounds. 

The feeling of the scratched and marked skin of her back under his palm made him kiss her harder, wrapping his arms around her waist, hoisting her up as her legs wrapped around him instinctively. He walked them over to the bedroom, dropping her onto the bed, kissing his way down her neck and chest, hands on her waist. 

Luminara gripped the sheets with one hand, the other in his hair as he kissed her breasts, his tongue making circles over it. 

He took her hands in his, lacing their fingers together as he made his way down her torso, kissing down her thighs. Even as he nudged her thighs apart, nuzzling his face between them, his hands did not leave hers. He pressed light, gentle kisses to the sensitive spot making her moan quietly. 

Obi-Wan smiled to himself and bent his head down, drawing his tongue out over her clit in slow, deliberate motions, burying his face deeper as his tongue moved faster.  

Luminara’s moans were soft, quiet sounds that rose in pitch the closer Obi-Wan brought her to the edge, and even then, it was only the soft whimper of his name that came from her just as she did. 

Obi-Wan climbed back up on top of the bed, Luminara’s hands leaving his, taking his face in her hands and pulling him back towards her. 

His lips were warm, her taste lingering over them. She pushed him onto his back, straddling him. Obi Wan dropped his head back onto the mattress, eyes closed, mouth slightly parted, a small gasp coming from him as she bit down on his neck. 

“ _ Force, _ ” he gasped. 

“Too hard?” she asked him, lifting her head up. He looked up at her, smiling. 

“Perfect,” he said, breathlessly. Luminara smiled and bent her head down to press a small kiss to his chest before straightening herself up. 

She took his cock in her hand, slowly moving down the length of it, watching as Obi-Wan’s eyes fluttered shut, his mouth hanging open, moaning. Luminara rose to her knees, positioning herself over him, steadying her breath, Obi-Wan’s hands gripping her hips tightly. Slowly, she lowered herself onto him, choking back a moan as she took him. Obi-Wan, however, moaned her name as she began to move over him. She closed her eyes, one hand on his chest, her nails digging deep into his skin, the other resting on top of his that held her waist, steadying herself. 

Though Luminara’s moans were softer, as quiet as her own voice, Obi-Wan’s moans rang through the room, her name coming from his lips in gasps as she sped up her pace, rolling her hips into his faster with each moan. 

The energy in the room shifted, the force opened up around them, the hairs on the back of their necks standing up as they moved closer to the edge of orgasm. Obi-Wan closed his eyes tight, focusing on her movements. He felt every pulse, every beat, every ounce of energy flowing through both of them and he trembled at the sheer power between the two of them. 

They came together, his hips bucking up into hers, the force swallowing them whole. Luminara dropped herself onto Obi-Wan, kissing him hurriedly, the two of them riding out the waves of their orgasm. His arms tightened around her waist, pulling her closer to him until they were both a mess of heavy breathing and choked moans. 


	3. Foreign

Between the sizzling of the pan in front of him and the cries of the kettle, he didn’t even hear her walk into the room, not until he felt her strong arms wrap around him. 

“Morning,” he said, moving himself around, Luminara pressing her face into his back. He could feel her lips pressing down on him through the thin fabric of his tunic. 

“How do you manage to wake up before me?” she asked, the sound of her voice muffled, but he could still hear a slight raspiness to it which made his breath seize in his throat. 

As he moved through the kitchen, Luminara let go of him and leaned up against the pantry door, watching him as he worked. 

“Tea,” he said, pushing a mug towards her, looking up to catch her smile at him. “What?” he asked, suddenly aware of just how closely she was watching him. She shook her head, 

“Nothing,” she said. Obi-Wan turned around, tending to the food, preparing their plates. 

“Did you sleep alright?” he asked, clearing his throat. 

“Better than I ever have,” she said quietly. Obi-Wan smiled. “You?” 

“Perfectly,” he said walking to her, plates in hand, kissing her forehead. 

“Wait,” she said, stopping him, putting her mug down and taking the plates from his hand. Obi-Wan watched, confused, as she set everything aside, keeping one hand on his arm. “Wait a moment,” she said quietly. 

“Wha-?” He stopped as her hand gently nudged his chin towards her. Her eyes were calm, which was no different than usual, but something about the way she looked at him now, in the early rays of the first morning sun made him drop his shoulders, made him feel as though time had stopped, holding them there in that moment. “Yes?” he asked, a small smile curving on his lips. 

Luminara leaned up, her hands on his waist, holding him against her, pressing her lips to his gently. Obi-Wan’s hands found their way into her hair, wrapping her curls around his fingers, pulling her closer to him, kissing her harder. Luminara pulled away first, her lips lingering on his, his forehead resting against hers. 

“Still not used to it,” he said softly, his lips ghosting over hers, trying to pull her back in. Luminara smiled against his lips, letting him move hers. 

“We can fix that,” she replied, her hands moving from his waist below the band of his pants, nails dragging across the soft, sensitive skin of his thighs, Obi-Wan moaning into the kiss in reply. 

 


	4. No Time

The suns did not shine that morning, instead covered by thick, grey clouds, rain gently hitting their windows. 

She lay with her head on his chest, his hand lazily running through her hair. She kissed his chest, moving herself closer into him. 

“What’re we going to do?” she asked quietly, tracing her nail along a barely-healed Gundark scar. 

“I was going to make breakfast,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. 

“I mean when we leave,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Obi-Wan sighed, but did not answer. He pulled her closer, kissing her, her fingers combing through his hair. 

“We don’t have to think about that right now,” he said, his lips still against hers. 

“Are we wrong?” she asked. He looked at her for a moment, but she did not meet his eyes. Luminara stared out the window of the bedroom, watching as the rain became heavier. 

“No,” he said, tilting her chin up to look at him. “We’re not wrong.” Luminara bit her lip and pulled him closer. 

“What’re we going to tell the Council?” she asked after a moment. 

“That we did the job they sent us here for,” he said confidently. “And that I love you very much,” he added. 

Luminara laughed, swatting him lightly. He kissed her, pulling the covers tighter over them. 

“And if you want to tell them that I am the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid eyes on, I wouldn’t object,” he said as he kissed his way down her neck. Luminara pulled him back up to meet her lips, 

“So what are we going to do until then?” she asked. 

“Right now,” he said, pulling back again, “we don’t have anything planned for today.” 

“Is that so?” she asked, moving her hand down his torso, slipping underneath the covers. 

“And,” he started, cutting himself off with a loud gasp. Luminara smiled against his lips. He closed his eyes, his mouth hanging open the further she moved her hand. 

“I think I know what to do with all that time,” she whispered. 

  
  



	5. Freedom

His voice is softer. She didn’t think that was possible, but when she turns over in the morning, and he pulls her back to him, she doesn’t think she’s ever heard anyone’s voice sound as soft or as gentle. 

He convinces her to stay in bed for just a moment longer, holds her tighter and kisses her neck. 

She smiles to herself, resting her hands over his, closing her eyes. His beard was growing back, she notes, as the stubble on his cheek scratches her bare shoulder. 

The days don’t seem quite as long anymore, the weather not as irritating, nor the people, she notices. 

There is a wicked sense of pleasure she gets when they walk down the street, hand in hand. A secret between only them. The way he looks at her when they’re out, or how she passes him and quietly whispers her plans for him that night, watching his face turn bright red. There is a joy that they both get from each other, that they’ve never experienced before. They can’t remember the last time they were this happy. 

There is a zeal in his kiss, as though he’s racing against the clock, trying to take her all in at once. His sidelong glances tell her he’s ready to leave, ready to go home, that he can’t think of anything else but her. 

She feels free, for the first time, lying next to him, their fingers laced together, a warm breeze flowing in through the open windows. 

In the dead of night, when neither of them can sleep, and he lies on his side, watching her as she speaks, she feels free. When he kisses her, midway through her sentence, and apologizes, tells her he just needed to kiss her, to remind himself that he could, she can pull him back to her, kiss him harder. 

For the first time since they’d arrived, she calls the place home, and she means it. 

They’ve built a home for themselves, no matter how foolish, how blind it may be, it is their home. 

There was something liberating about call this place home, about knowing that, at the end of every day, they came back to each other. 

She had spent her whole life standing off at a distance from the rest, and now, as he rose from the bed, stretching and yawning, one hand on her thigh, telling her he’ll bring her tea, Luminara turned over and watched him walk out, she felt safe. 

She felt at home. 

She felt free.  

 


	6. All That I Have

“And the rings?” she asked. Obi-Wan ducked his head, a blush coming over him as he stuttered his response. Luminara rested her chin on her knees, watching him. 

“I...picked them out myself,” he said. “I guessed on the size,” he said, nodding at her hand. “But I wanted them to look…authentic.” 

She held her hand up, slipping the thin, silver band off her hand. 

“Well I must say,” she said, twirling the ring between her fingers. “You have a good eye for these sorts of things.” Obi-Wan dropped his head, chuckling, running his hand through his hair. He looked up at her, eyes roaming over her face. 

“Do you ever think,” he started. She leaned in closer. “Do you ever wonder what might happen if we…” 

“Stay?” she finished for him. He looked away from her. 

“Not that,” he said quietly. “If we...actually were married?” he asked. She smiled, taking his hand in hers. 

“I have been,” she said. 

“It’s not right,” he said, looking at her. “I know that we shouldn’t think of these things but…” 

“This is different,” she said. “We’re different.” Obi-Wan nodded, 

“Can we really go back?” he asked, quietly. 

“We’ll have to,” she said.  Obi-Wan took the ring from her hand, holding it up between them, the moonlight glinting off it. 

“So we’ll go,” he said. “We’ll finish up here, we’ll go back.” He took her hand in his, “But we’ll always have this, won’t we, Mrs. Kenobi?” he asked teasingly, He slid the ring back on her hand, pressing a kiss to it. “Never forget that.” She smiled, pulling him towards her by his hand. 

“We’ll always have this,” she whispered, her lips mere inches away from his. “Mr. Unduli,” she finished quietly. Luminara kissed him hard, her lips slanting over his, leaving him breathless. 

He pulled her into his lap, kissing her harder and Luminara moved her lips over his jaw, down his neck, kissing and biting, taking in the sound of his moans as he quickly pulled his shirt off. 

This was all they had, and though it scared both of them just how much they needed each other, they knew their place, they knew their duties, and they would go back to it. 

But not quite yet. 


	7. Danger Ahead

There is no warning when bad times approach. 

There are small signs, perhaps, but no one to tell you to leave. 

The suns shone that morning, just as they always did, a warm breeze that flew through the town, putting their minds at ease. 

But in the pit of his stomach, Obi-Wan knew something was not right. He watched as Luminara looked around with unease, her body tense and waiting. 

Waiting for what, they could only imagine. 

They had been foolish, he knew as much, but when he awoke alone in the bed that morning he knew what was to come. 

She handed him his lightsaber silently that morning, not meeting his gaze. He took it, keeping his eyes on her as she walked around the house, weary of her surroundings. He sat in his place and suddenly felt thrown back to the moment they first entered the cottage, neither one sure how to act, or how to live in a place like this. 

They had come full circle and he prepared himself for his return. 

She stopped at the entrance of the kitchen, her hand gripping the wall. Obi-Wan moved behind her, resting his hands on her waist, kissing her neck. She turned her head, catching his lips with hers. 

The kiss was soft, simple and Obi-Wan wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and take her away. 

Away from here,

Away from who they were,

Away from it all. 


	8. Break Away

The planet was quiet. Conversations became whispers, smiles became fleeting, and time moved all too slowly. 

They shared the bed, but she turned her back to him most nights, hoping that it would make it easier on both of them. 

They were fools, she knew as much, but she did not regret their time. 

She regretted the distance she put between them, now. 

She regretted the way his face fell when she avoided his eyes, or how his hands lingered over hers, hoping that she would hold him, too. 

She hated herself for creating something like this, and she hated herself even more wanting to stay. 

She did not entertain the thought of running away, that was not in her nature, nor his. 

But she could not help the flash of a life she  _ could  _ lead. 

Or the glimpse of the time they  _ could  _ spend. 

Or a taste of the people they  _ could  _ be.

No. 

She couldn’t let herself think of that. She couldn’t afford to distract herself like that, not when they were so close to finishing this mission. 

She was teaching herself to let go, something she never thought she would have to do. 

So there, in the early morning haze, she let go of his hand and got out of bed, not looking at him, never once meeting his gaze that she could feel on her back. 

She needed to break away from this life, a life that was not hers, a life that was nothing but a lie. 

She needed to move on and remind herself that she was a Jedi. 

First, always and forever, a Jedi Knight. 

And this was not the life of a Jedi Knight. 

Even if it was the life she had always craved. 


	9. Seeking Solace

The hot water hit her back, a small sigh of relief escaping her. She ran her hands through her hair, his hands moving down and resting on her waist. He pulled her close, kissing her softly. 

The further she tried to push him away, the less it worked. 

Though they both knew their time was coming to an end, it only made her want to wrap her arms around him more. 

It made her want him more. 

It made her realize that, once it was all over, it would hurt even more. 

But he was good at distracting her, his lips brushing over hers with such ease and care. His hands always gentle on her, holding her close to him. 

He never knew how far he was allowed, never knew when she would ask him to stop. 

But she pulled him closer. 

She kissed him harder

She pushed him against the wall. 

He knew she needed space and gave her just that, but it was always she who closed the distance. 

It was always her kiss that pushed him onto his back, her grip that made him moan a little too loud, her bite that left a mark. 

The more she told herself to move on, the harder she loved him. 

It was in his arms that she found her solace, and in her embrace that he found peace. 

They fit together as though they were always waiting for this moment, 

And now that they had it, she didn’t want to let go. 

There would be time for duties and for formalities and responsibilities, 

But tonight

Tonight was for his lips on hers

Her teeth on his neck

And for the two of them, together, as it was always meant to be. 

 


	10. Silence

The world does not end in fire and chaos and havoc. 

The world does not end in confusion and upheaval. 

What no one tells them, is that the world can end with a single word. 

Some nights, it can end with nothing but silence between two lovers. 

They are nights when they do not look at each other. 

Nights when even the moon is clouded, a shroud of fog covering everything around them. 

They sit on far ends of the house, neither one speaking to each other, neither one even looking at each other, knowing well that tomorrow may bring them back to reality. 

The world does not end with screams and protests and terror. 

Some nights, it ends with hushed voices and red eyes. 

Tears wiped away quick, faces turned away. 

Their world ends on a cool, crisp night, when neither one can fall asleep, but do not reach out for each other. 

Their world ends when their mission does, and the knowledge that this will be left behind in the dust come morning light. 

Some nights, the world ends and no one else notices. 

The world falls to pieces, and the life they’ve built together disappears, 

No words spoken between them, 

No glances shared, 

Nothing. 

The world does not always end in devastation, 

Nor in panic

Most nights, 

It ends with silence. 


End file.
